Holiday Blues
by Carla-p
Summary: It's the holidays at the mansion - that can only mean trouble


Title: Holiday Blues. Author: Carla Email: hunnyb17uk@yahoo.co.uk Disclaimer: Not mine, I do not own, please do not sue! (Not that I have anything anyways) All is owned by Marvel and Fox. Though I put them to better use! Song is owned by hot chocolate. Archive Rights: DDFH Rating: R (Just cos I may be a corrupting influence, or so I've been told time and time again!) Summary: This is for our theme week, lala la la ! Category: ANGST CHSRACTER DEATH DO NOT READ EVERYONE DIES - Not really HUMOUR!!! Series: NONE - AS of yet Mwhahahaha! Feedback: Always welcome, GOOD bad and ugly welcome Warnings: NONE - although I'm sure there should be one attached to my work.  
  
Author's Notes: Apologies to all Jewish people, I know Kitty is Jewish - according to evo, not sure about the others, and I don't think that you celebrate Easter do you? Please forgive my ignorance, any Jewish people or non-ignorant people, please fill me in. I apologise, please don't take offence. ( Pairing: Have a look  
  
Holiday Blues.  
  
"Stormy we make a good team non?" Remy asked the resident weather goddess, as they worked together preparing the huge meal that would be served later on in the day. That was a rule at the X-mansion; you took turns to cook holiday meals for all the others. Thanksgiving had Scott and Jean working on the traditional turkey dinner, Christmas was another turkey dinner that Marie and Logan had cooked, Logan had wanted to cook a couple of steaks but Marie had refused to even giver that consideration. This Easter it was Remy and Ororo's turn.  
  
"Yes we do, and if you call me Stormy one more time, you will find out how it feels to be struck by lightening" Ororo announced, she was one of the only women Remy had encountered that didn't succumb to his flirting. And he had to say he loved the challenge.  
  
It was true what he said however they did work well together, they had been in the kitchen cooking for the past 5 hours, it wasn't an easy job cooking for 12 people, who were fussy eaters, but they were almost finished, It was now one o'clock and the others were to eat at one thirty.  
  
Meanwhile Hank was out in the plush dining room laying the table, Hank was the resident genius that looked like a blue furry ape, yet was as kind as he was clever. He also had a good eye for the design so needless to say the dining room looked gorgeous.  
  
As it was Easter he had decided to decorate the whole room, it was a mixture of pastel colours, in yellow, pink, baby blue and peach. There were pastel colour streamers and the tablecloth matched the streamers, there were placemats that were all yellow, the napkins were all blue and the coasters were all pink. He had even gone to the trouble to make name plaques for everyone, as he had bothered to arrange a seating plan.  
  
"Hmm, this does indeed seem reasonably adequate, it is vastly pleasant to the eyes" Hank pondered to himself for a moment. Then his acute hearing picked up the sound of the younger members of the x-men coming down the stairs, he added the final touch to the tables a huge bunny, in pastel peach and a chick in pastel blue.  
  
Just as he had finished, Jubilee, Kitty, Bobby and St. John had made their way into the dining room. "Wow" Kitty whispered in awe of the pretty room. "You said it" Bobby was also awe struck. "Yay! Hank you put yellow up!" The others rolled their eyes at Jubilees obvious approval of the room.  
  
"Yes, and I take it that you approve?" Hank asked Jubilee who just nodded like a demented pigeon on a sugar high.  
  
"I am glad, now for the second component of my job. You all look incredibly lovely and I am to take pictures of all of you." Hank stated Bobby and St. John didn't look happy that Hank had said that they looked lovely, but they posed with each other for a picture.  
  
Hank took pictures of them separately first, Bobby and St. John were both wearing black suits with red ties and white shirts, Jubilee was wearing a yellow pants suit with a yellow blouse and Kitty was wearing a pastel pink spaghetti strapped dress. They also posed together as well, with their partners and in a group. Jubilee took the camera off of him and took a picture of Hank also.  
  
Ororo and Remy were seen running full speed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, Ororo was muttering something about "Gumbo, slowing her up" and that she would never be ready on time. She was followed by Remy who was trying to cajole "Stormy".  
  
After that couple had disappeared from sight and sound, Scott and Jean arrived looking very tense, it looked as though the resident lovebirds were about to peck each other's eyes out. They both posed for pictures but their smiles seemed false, their laughter strained. Jean was wearing a green dress that went well with her red hair. Scott was wearing a navy blue suit that screamed Armani.  
  
Just when they thought the tension couldn't get any thicker Marie stomped into the room, she was wearing a white dress that went to her ankles and had a halter necked top and long white gloves that reached midway up to her arms. She looked lovely, well as long as you didn't look at her face; on her beautiful porcelain features she wore a dark scowl. She stomped into the room paused in the middle and crossed her arms over her ample chest and pouted like a petulant child. "Logan ain't coming!" She snapped as if daring anyone to argue with her.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
Marie was jumping with ill concealed excitement, this was to be her first Easter with Logan, Easter had always been Marie's favourite holiday ever since she had been a child, she supposed that it was due to the fact that she always got chocolate.  
  
She knew that Charles wanted everyone to dress nice, and that she wanted Logan to be comfortable, she had gone out and brought him a new suit. It had cost a fortune, Charles always gave them an allowance to get nice clothes, he had given them a total of $200 and Marie thought that, that would be more than enough, they only had to look nice, not like runway models, Marie had gone to the small dress shop that was in a quiet part of New York city, if such a place existed, she had found what she wanted straight away, a simple white dress that looked beautiful, she brought white gloves that matched it and shoes, and a necklace and it all came to $50, Marie had been taught from a young age to find a bargain.  
  
So that had left her with $150 for Logans suit, the only trouble was, Logan had very sensitive skin, and he hated suits at the best of times, so it his suit had to be made of the perfect fabric. So Marie had asked the woman in the store if she had any suits, the woman had replied that she didn't but she custom made suits, she had helped Marie pick out the perfect fabric and the perfect cut, all Marie had to do was get Logans measurements, Marie wanted the suit to be a surprise so she decided to steal an old suit that had been hanging in his closet that he had worn only once.  
  
The woman from the store had then made Logan the perfect suit, it was a simple black fabric that was soft to the touch, and it felt like butter, it was that soft. It had been worth the $400 it had cost to make and buy it. Marie was sure that he would love it.  
  
"I hate it" Logan announced on seeing 'the monkey suit' and Marie had looked at him in confusion, how could he hate something that was so exquisite? "But." Marie started only to have Logan cut her off. "Listen darlin' you look good and all but I gotta tell you now, I am not gonna wear some god damn monkey suit just so Chucks happy ok? I will put on my best pair of black jeans and a white shirt on and that's it, it's only us lot anyway why would I wanna get dressed up? I live with you people." Logan ranted, oblivious to Marie's hurt and anger. "Yeah, why would ya wanna get dressed up fer me?" Marie spat out the words. "Listen darlin I don't know what your problem is, but could ya not take that tone with me" Logan ordered, folding his arms across his chest. "Or what?" Marie goaded folding her own arms across her chest. "Or I just won't bother to go" Logan retorted, expecting Marie to apologise and beg him to go. "Fahne, see ya" Marie spat and stormed out of the room, Logan looked at the door in shock then sat in the chair and sulked.  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
"Oh Rogue honey are you ok, men are such jerks aren't they?" Jean put a comforting arm around Marie and glared at Scott as though it was his fault. "Oh Jean, ah just wanted him to have something nice, ah spent so long on it, and he didn't even try wearing it, not even for me." Marie whispered, a single tear rolling down her pale face. All the girls left their respective partners and went to sit with Marie in the corner, each glaring daggers at the males, as if it were an elaborate scheme that they were all in together. The men all heaved a collective sigh and sat staring forlornly at the ground.  
  
"Do you think they'd mind if I put the sports on?" Bobby whispered. "Are you mad!" Yelled St. John aghast, his yells earning him extra scowls from the women. "I take that as a yes then" Bobby replied sadly. Hank heaved a sigh and went upstairs to get Logan; they were not going to suffer for his crimes whilst he sat upstairs and sulked.  
  
Meanwhile Charles was arranging his necktie, unsuccessfully I may add, as one finds it hard to fasten a tie with one hand, whilst the other holds a tumbler of brandy, after you have already had several of the latter. With a sigh and a giggle Charles pushed himself into the dining room, tie hanging loosely from his neck.  
  
Ororo and Remy had made it back downstairs both dressed to the nines, Ororo in a stunning purple creation, and Remy in a dashing white suit. "You are an idiot," Ororo announced on seeing Remy. "Why, Remy love ya too ma belle" Remy replied dryly, raising an eyebrow. "Why on earth are you wearing a white suit if you are the cook, you will get food all down yourself." Ororo informed Remy coolly. "Ya think that Remy be a baby ma petite?" Remy asked Ororo, who just rolled her eyes and set about putting the finishing touches on the food. "Cos Remy let you pamper him" Remy cracked and Ororo just stared at him until he blushed and turned away.  
  
Hank was upstairs trying to talk some sense into the thick skulled Logan. "Hank I ain't goin" Logan said stubbornly. "I must declare that you are" Hank replied not allowing Logan to get out of this one, not with all of the women angry with the innocent men. "Logan, do you know how much time, money and effort Marie put into that dress?" Hank asked Logan, Logan predictably said nothing. "She depleted $350 of her own money on that damned suit, she had it custom made, from fine materials just so you would be comfortable and you repay her by insulting it and in turn her and refusing to even put it on, just to be uncomfortable for a couple of hours, think of all the things, Marie would have done to make it up too you." Hank trailed off to make his point, and as he suspected Logans eyes became glassy as he drifted into the intimate world of him and Marie. Marie may not be able to touch skin to skin, but with the noise that the two of them make they have obviously found away around it. Hank decided that Logan would be coming after all and left the room.  
  
All the inhabitants of the mansion, save Logan, Ororo and Remy were in the dining room, waiting for dinner to be served, Ororo and Remy were putting on the finishing touches and bantering back and forth as they prepared dinner. There was some noise from the stairs when Marie saw Logan come into the dining room, wearing the suit and looking very handsome, he had even shaved! She felt the tears stream down her face, she hated arguing with him, she loved him so damn much that it hurt physically sometimes, and now he looked so handsome, he was so considerate.  
  
Logan saw with horror that Marie was crying. "Who the hell made my Marie cry?" Logan all but roared. "You did dipshit," the professor announced. Bobby spewed the sip of water he had just taken over St. John who was sitting opposite him, St. John started giggling. The others just went silent and looked at the professor in shock. "What? What?" The professor asked his gaping students and took another swig of the whisky. Once Logan had gotten over the shock of hearing the professor of all people call him a dipshit, he ran over to Marie and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry darlin' I was being moody earlier, this really is a damn good suit, I'll wear this when we get married" he told her and she smiled at him and looked at her engagement ring again, he had given it too her a week ago, it was a diamond and emerald ring, that cost a fortune, she wore it over her gloves to show that she was property of the Wolverine.  
  
At that moment Ororo and Remy brought the dinner to the table. It was various dishes, it wasn't the traditional meal, no sir, there was Cajun chicken and gumbo, and fried chicken, and chips or roast potatoes. There was a nice Quorn vegetable dish for Ororo and Kitty the resident vegetarians. Everyone tucked in with gusto even the professor, although he also tucked into the expensive Chardonnay as well.  
  
After dinner was over, and the plates cleared, Ororo and Remy brought out the desserts, which were store bought. None of the puddings had chocolate in as they had enough Easter eggs to feed a small army. Marie and Logan shared the Lemon meringue pie; licking it of each other's gloved hands, making everyone in the room, feel nauseous. Charles shouted, "Get a room!" Whilst drinking his dessert wine. Jean and Scott glared at each other and stabbed there desserts until all was left was mush, the tension in the air became thicker and thicker until the only one that was unaware of it was Charles who was happily supping his third Baileys. Scott stabbed his ice cream maliciously again and as he raised his spoon, a glob of ice cream shot off of the spoon and hit Jean in the middle of her forehead. She looked at Scott, glaring daggers the whole room had gone deathly silent, as the others all stared to see what Jean would do. Logan and Marie clutching at each other with ill-conceived mirth at the dripping ice cream. Jean then glared at the offending ice cream that was still in the bowl, and suddenly, said bowl levitated from the table and hovered over Scott's head, Jubilee was practically bouncing off her chair with excitement over what would come next and sure enough. The bowl tipped spilling all of the contents over Scott's head. Well the others couldn't be expected to contain their mirth at that and the whole room burst into deep chuckles and raucous laughter.  
  
Scott then calmly picked up the bowl next to him, which happened to contain Hanks raspberry soufflé and threw it as hard as he could at Jean, as expected she automatically stopped the bowl from flying into her face, but not the contents, which continued to sail and hit her square in the face. The others all proceeded to fall off their chairs and hold their sides whilst gasping for breath. Jubilee managed to find the breath to shout "Food fight". Thus proceeded a twenty-minute food fight between Jean and Scott with the others hiding under the table, glancing above the table periodically, and then collapsing with the giggles again.  
  
Finally when it was all over and the others picked themselves off the floor, Jean and Scott were smooching. The others sat down calmly, surveying the carnage. Marie suddenly started giggling softly, Logan with his sensitive hearing heard it and looked in the direction that she was looking in, and started chuckling too, the others heard their laughter, and one by one started looking in the same direction and giggling until the room was filled with deep belly chuckles. Charles was sitting - still drinking, this time white wine, only he was covered in pudding, his bald head had a mixture of toppings on and even a cherry right smack in the middle of the once shiny dome.  
  
After everyone calmed down and cleared the table, Marie and Logan were doing the washing up, playfully splashing each other and taking 5 (more like 20) minute breaks to kiss through their thinnest scarf. Jean and Scott were curled up on the sofa in front of the fire, kissing and petting, their earlier dispute settled and forgotten. Jubilee and St. John were seriously making out behind one of the sofas, and had to keep getting separated by Hank. Kitty and Bobby were watching the sports highlights. Remy was flirting with Storm, who was trying to read her latest book. Hank was conducting a science experiment, at the small table, trying to clone Easter eggs - like they didn't already have enough. (A/N you can never have enough Easter eggs, really it's the law ()  
  
Logan and Marie finally joined the others. "Hey ya guys, we found like, 3 empty wine bottles, an empty Baileys bottle, 5 Chardonnay bottled, and an empty crystal Whisky decanter, where did it all come from?" Marie asked curiously, none of them had, had time to drink. Logan sat on the sofa and pulled Marie into his lap, he gladly nibbled on her neck through the scarf, when suddenly the room went dark, the only light coming from the fire. Music with a deep base started playing and a small light turned on highlighting the man in the wheelchair in front of them. "I need some hot stuff baby tonight" As the music continued, Charles Xavier started stripping, off came the hanging tie, off came the suit jacket, off came the pristine shirt, off came the Velcro? Trousers. Off came the vest until finally Charles was left beep bopping with only a pink furry thong on.  
  
"Aarggggghhhhh!!!!" yelled Bobby and St. John running from the room screaming. "Oh my" Hank stated and turned back to his experiment. Marie and Logan just started giggling again. Kitty just phased herself and Jubilee from the room. "You know what Remy, I will go on a date with you. Now. Let's go!" Ororo yelled and grabbed Remy's arm and ran from the room, the remaining occupants heard a car screeching out of the garage. Jean looked at Scott, Scott looked at Jean and Jean used her telekinesis to gently wheel the now sleeping Professor out of the room, and into bed, he was gonna regret this in the morning.  
  
All in all, just another typical holiday at the X-mansion. 


End file.
